The Daily {W}rite August 2019 wk. o3

Hmm. A bit slow starting the 3rd week of August's Daily {W}rite. My friend David went off to see his son in L.A. My sister is taking off tomorrow for Minnesota to visit with one of her daughters. I'm alone for the first time. Really alone with no one to talk to, go to the store with, to the movies. I don't like this . . . this . . . feeling of being alone.
And I'm not feeling extremely well physically or mentally. Haven't for a while . . . but it just seems to be getting worse. I've gone nowhere since David left . . . except for dinner with my sister yesterday. I keep giving myself the excuse that it is too hot out there to do anything . . . and yeah, it is, but I could go out a little during the day. Or I could at least wait until the sun goes down and head for the grocery store or, or Braum's or somewhere. But not much into going out at night . . . which is probably just another excuse.

Sunday, August 18, 2o19

So, didn't get out today . . . "Oh, what a big surprise!" I've decided to spend the day writing on the blog, on some poetry . . . Oh! This one poem that I started writing on in 2o12, Lighter Than Gravity, is getting a few hits on Facebook. Thought I'd use it in September's "poetry project."

The pic on the left (actually, above!), one stick figure turning into two stick figures falling through the void. That's how I feel most days . . . split in twos, falling . . . apart . . . yes, nice image. Both MEs falling away and apart from each other  . . . only to come together at the end of a series of movements and . . . {smiles}No. So, I'm still here at the computer . . . a gentle sip of coffee . . . across the lips . . . a caffeinated kiss . . . dark and delicious.

2:30am

Actually, it's 10:38pm on August 18, 2o19 in Norman, Oklahoma as I write this entry. It being 2:30am is more metaphorical than exact . . . for in less than 4 hours it will be (actually) 2:30am, August 19, 2o19 . . . in Norman, Oklahoma. But at this moment it is exactly 10:41pm, o8-18-19 . . . but it feels like (to my poetic self) as if it were 2:30am . . . in fact, every hour of every one of my days feels like 2:30am . . . it's routine I guess . . . repeating the moment that you just left . . . repeating it over and over again . . . like the directions on a bottle of shampoo: lather, rinse, repeat . . . which I'm not exactly sure IF they put that on shampoo bottles anymore.

Anyway, what difference does it make what time I say it is? Time is a manmade construct . . . according to my few science friends . . . time only exists because man created it in a perverse desire to control time . . . which doesn't exist. Okay, okay! I believe (I say I believe because I don't really know for sure) that what we call time is only a measuring device  . . . to measure . . . universal time, which is nothing like what we perceive time to be like . . . Sometimes . . . I even confuse myself.

Monday, August 19, 2o19

Well, Monday. Monday is always the beginning of a week . . . except when you are retired and don't work at all . . . except for what work you create for yourself just so you can say, "I work for a living!" Ha! Old Marine Corps joke. Any tome you call a staff sergeant "sir" they fire back with, "Don't call me sir! I work for a living!" Of course there are a lot more "colorful" ways to answer that question about being called sir along with one that makes reference to the sir-sayer's parents not being married!

The cop found guilty of killing Eric Garner was fired. The NYC Police Commissioner basically said he hated to do it but he "had" to. Which made the POOlice union really pissed off because they say the cop was just doing his job.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar accused Quentin Tarantino of racism today with QT's depiction of Bruce Lee as an "uppity Chinese guy" in the movie Once Upon a Time . . .in Hollywood.

Racism. There's more examples than what I posted above of the thorn in our country's side . . .  American racism. My only point is we still as haven't figured out the solution to the "racism problem" in this country. And I never see it ever being figured out.

9:27pm

So, I had a shower at nine and now I'm all clean and . . . ready to get out to Walmart tomorrow . . . on the bus. Yeah, I know. You have heard that one before . . . "Off to Walmart tomorrow! Yeah, right!" But I really do have to get to the store and I've been apartment celled for thre days! Something's gotta give.

I'm feeling a bit less  . . . melancholy. Or as we said in the 20th century (and now the 21st) I gots the blues  . . . still. Yes, I know as you know that I always have the blues. But there are different types of blues. The sad blues where I don't want to do anything except lie down and sleep. The angry blues which makes me scream, shout at myself in the mirror . . . or the creative blues which muses me into a creative mood that, yes, is sad but at least productive.

Tuesday, August 2o, 2o19
Oh, boy! Did make it to the store by foot and bus and . . . son-of-a-bitch! I couldn't walk more than one to two hundred yards (if that) without stopping to catch my breath! Fuck. Need to get to the doctors and see if a rescue inhaler will help . . . and find out IF I can afford one. It's crazy. Damn it!

Wednesday, August 21, 2o19
Last day of the third week in August and . . . I've hardly written anything of merit. Some great philosopher-poet am I.

My lungs gasp and begin to shut down. And so I sit down my lungs grabbing at whatever little chunks of air it can find. My head joins in. Dizzy, thoughts in their container, a

madman's frantic waltz across the grey's linoleum. And my legs . . . comatose . . . but the feet are still alive scratching at the sidewalk . . . incased within the leaping figure of Spider-Man, which is  accepting with a stoic look at  whatever the damage to its face it might receive from such brutal actions, senseless actions against concrete.

I just noticed. I use the reflecting water app. a lot. I should look for more animation apps. Anyway, the last of this week's blog and I'm worn out from fighting with a very slow computer today. I'll let it go for now, and promise to you, dear reader, to get to the doctor's and see if they can, again, help me get physically better.  {smiles}

P.S. I DID take the time this week to proof read before I posted! Hope I got all the little no-noes! Don't need this week for the grammar police to be hassling me. "Attica!"