I'm taking an hour or more to just shut down the TV, headphone into my Spotify list (playing the Baby Driver soundtrack right . . . ). You know? I just turned off Baby Driver. No distractions as I write this entry. Nothing but the ambient sounds from the outside, the beelike sputter of a small motorcycle speeding by, the hissing sound of car tires on hot asphalt . . . that sound, that constant sound that the Physical Management building makes . . . the gurgle of a
Cessna flying towards the Norman-town airport. Those little things, noises inside my apartment: Some one just slammed a door shut. She (or he) is stomping down the stairs . . . and then there's that buzzing sound inside my ears, inside my head. Saw a doctor about it . . . basically? Yeah, nothing to be done about it. It's a part of me in my "old age." Better to just get use to it, welcome it like the other "natural" sounds my body makes . . . breathing, my heart beating.
4:39pm
Easy to realize that you're not living in the moment, the real moments that pass so fast you can't tell where one moment begins or ends. I've probably gone through at least a billion moments since I started this portion of today's blog entry. Okay, I may be exaggerating. It's probably on been a few moments not a billion. It's hard to tell. For the Greeks, a moment was 2.5 seconds in duration. As an actor I measure a moment by stage time. "playing the moment" is a term we throw around in the thespian culture. So, two actors on stage engage in a scripted conversation, each actor having an objective that is related in some way or other to the response of the other actor. A moment ends whenever the objective is won, or lost or put on hold by one of the two characters. But for some acting coaches even that is too long a time. For others, a moment is one response from whichever actor is speaking at the time:
Actor 1 says a line,
end of moment.
Actor 2 takes in what Actor 1 said
and then responds with his/her line,
end of moment.
Confusing? Probably. But it is a very useful equation for an actor . . . but for real human beings in real life? Well, before we can answer that question we have to define "real life", and to tell you the truth, right now, I'm not willing to waste the moments it would take to define "real life. " So, why don't we define a moment as whatever length of time it takes to think a moment. {smiles}
10:12pm
John McCain died today. He went off the cancer treatments last night and died today. I almost voted for him for POTUS. Almost. He was the strongest advocate for veteran's rights. Often enough, when his party was on the wrong track, John McCain was the only Republican to stand against them. His own part. He was labeled a maverick and there were times when he was exactly that. Trump Hated him. Today "That Guy in the White House" tweeted a few mousy words about McCain's death . . . but he didn't mean I thing he said.
Monday, August 27, 2o18
I love a parade! We all do, don't we? The 4th of July parade with its marching veterans, the beautiful prom queens with dazzling bright white smiles, and then there's the politicians . . . they too in shinny new convertibles or replicas of old cars from the '30s/'40s . . . those go old days when white was right and straight was great! And yesterday, in Norman town, we had a parade! The Norman PRIDE Parade . . . and yes, it was just like any parade in any city or town across the nation. And there were vets marching, and beautiful girls waving, and politicians . . . and the LGBTQ community. In fact it was a parade that focused on theLGBTQ community, the celebration there of . . . but not solely that. It was a celebration of diversity within the American culture. A celebration of our humanity, love for each other, of love for the sake of love without borders, mental or physical borders that have always kept America ununified. Yes, what a beautiful day it was. And I hope it continues. {BIG smile}
TUEsday, August 28, 2o18
Already everyone on Facebook is anticipating Halloween! If you know me, you know that yes, it is MY favorite holiday. Even though we are more than a month away from Halloween, I thought I'd share a Halloween poem I wrote a few years back.
I
love Halloween!
The
sun is finally going down
the
moon dressed in her starry gown
the
season’s here for children’s glee
tonight’s
the night of Halloween.
Monsters
dark and nasty ghouls
will
fill the haunted night with boos
and
candy apples tart and sweet
will
fill our bags on Halloween.
I’ll
dress myself as Spider-Man
then
door to door and hand in hand
with
little sister Sara Lee
I’ll
beg for candy on Halloween.
I
hope I do not see a ghost
I
think they frighten me the most
the
pumpkin’s carved he looks so mean
Sometimes
it’s scary on Halloween.
Mother
quick no time to waste
the
witches’ brewed us treats to taste
my
friends are dancing down the street
MOM, Hurry up! Come on!
It’s Halloween!
Woodie 9-26-09 (rewrites 1o-25-13)
WEDNesday, August 29, 2o18
Went out to vote yesterday. Never much of a voter as young . . . er man. Did vote for Jesse Jackson in the primaries once when I was living in Hollywood. When got back to Norman-town in the very late 80s, when election year came around I voted for Clinton for POTUS. Other than that, I never voted. But when got older, in my sixties, I started to take more interest in politics. His second time around I voted for Obama. Been pretty active since then, I mean, I vote now on a regular basis, local and national elections.
4:56pm
The last few days I've felt a bit lethargic. Hard time keeping my energy up. Been depressed, also. I don't know if my not feeling well is triggering my depression or my depression is triggering my tiredness. Either way, I've been fighting off my usual depression. Well, fighting off isn't quite right. Trying muscle my depression out of myself doesn't quite work. I mean, Lady Macbeth tried to cure her depression and guilt over the murder of King Duncan . . . that didn't work out too well for her. There's no "out, out, damn spot!" cure when it comes to depression.
But I don't want to go on some kind of happy drug. MY depression may well be a psychological/physical response to my subconscious, my dream state (which is made up of a bunch of memories that still haunt me) that to often I find myself drowning in. See, that's the problem, I think. I keep trying to make myself well by trying to get rid of all that emotional, that baggage my thoughts have bought into. It can't be done. You can't just say "GO AWAY, BAD, BAD THOUGHTS!" It doesn't work. But what might work is accepting my "craziness" as a part of me, a wonderful part of me, know it's there and use it to keep me sane. Yeah, I see all the psych majors I nodding knowingly, "Yeah, that'll work. You just do that." We I hate squat on their PhDs, but I think I'm in a good place with changing myself without changing the essence of that which I call my . . . self.
THURsday, August 3o, 2o18
10:21pm
Just about the end of the month which means we are just that much closer to Halloween . . . On Saturday Norman-town has its first game (football) of the season. Man, it seems to early for that. I like to get out on game day and shoot the crowd. Lots of people on game day and my camera loves it. I may post a few on here during the year. I love game days. Here's a sample from last year.
FRIday, August 31, 2o18
I like months that end with 31 days. It just feels right. 31 days. Yes, I know we say as a general rule that a month is 30 days long . . . nice round number, heavy, well-fed number. But the mind says, NO! 31 is the perfect number. The brain is strange. It will think whatever it wishes to think without reasoning gumming up the works. See you next month. {smiles}
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