The Daily {W}rite June 2018 WK o1

So, I'm back. Did you miss me? Of course  . . . I missed you lots! And LOTS! Hope you caught the poem I wrote for my 70th birthday! Yep, that's right! The big ol' seven zero. On the day of my birthday I went to a local grocery store and at the checkout stand I said to the cashier, "I'm seventy years old today." She stared at me for a minute, studied me really, and finally said, "Well, you don't look so bad." {smiles}

Saturday, 5pm, June o2, 2o18 
Another sleepless night, again. My body refuses to fall gently into that good sleep . . . it itches, aches, can't get at all comfortable enough to close its eyes and allow my mind to walkabout in the dream world. So, I stay awake, usually, until eight or so in the morning . . . sometimes even later. But finally, my fleshy frame will "melt" into a sloshy bucket of blood and muscle ( and fat), and I'll float away into unconsciousness . . . and maybe sleep for ten to 30 minutes tops . . . and I'm up again! And that's NOT good. I should be getting at least 6-8 hours sleep IF I want to remain healthy. At least, that's what the TV tells me. Monday, I'm going to the doctor's office to get my nebulizer prescription filled. I'm inhaling "Ipratropium Bromide and Albuterol Sulfate", four vials a day, everyday for my COPD. I'll ask the doctor when I go about my inability to get some proper sleep.

Sunday, June o3, 2o18
Those who are possessed by nothing possess everything
-Morihei Ueshiba

Yes, I'm back into discovering my inner-self, my spiritual self. And I know what you're thinking . . . here he goes again! Looking for something he is not ever going to find (peace of mind). Maybe I will. Maybe not. But exploring, the journey to that place, any place, physical and of the mind is the spiritual aspect of living. What do you think? The quote I started this entry with comes from a book, The Art of Peace. Morihei Ueshiba is the father of the martial art, Aikido. The word Aikido translates: The Art of Peace. Sound weird? To me, yeah. But I'm learning to attune my western ear to the philosophical sound of the "peaceful warrior" concept.

Wednesday, June o6, 2018

Changing a way of living, of believing, of reacting to the world as it "attacks" you. Learning to learn all over again. How not to control your anger, but use it. To express that anger in a different way, a positive way is a chore that may never be totally completed in this particular existence. My anger? I think I was born with it. I got a subconscious feeling that that slap on the butt I got from my mother's birthing team . . . they were probably true believers in NOT sparing the rod and spoiling the child. In fact, I have a strange feeling that ALL of them in that room, on my birthing day (was it my first)  took at least one good whack  at my tiny pink ass just to make sure I got the point that "this world hates you."

Anyway, I had a doctor's appointment on Monday to get my inhaler prescription renewed. The lady at the front desk told me that I had an overdue bill and that I had to pay it right then and there or I couldn't see a P.A. And . . . yes, I got upset. I tried to tell her  that her information was wrong because I just paid that bill . . . Doesn't matter. It doesn't appear on her screen, therefore no doctor for me until I paid the outstanding bill. So, I paid it. But I was so mad, so angry . . . all that day into the next I couldn't think of anything else but revenge and that clinic. You know, something like calling the clinic's boss and getting everybody fired . . . yeah, like that would happen. Anyway, I've been evil mad ever since, and ever since that incident I've thought about every off hand comment thrown at me by some drunken scumbag,  I remember the time my stepfather shoved a loaded shotgun in my gut . . . You see? One slight by a minimum wage earner at a health clinic and I'm reliving my whole sad, violent life. {no smile this time}

Thursday, June o7, 2o18

Heck of a rain storm traveled through all of Oklahoma today. Came in fast and hard. The poor student in the animation got caught up in it. Her umbrella was much help. But we needed rain. Not much more to write about this week. I think I spent enough time showing my manic side . . . at least for now. So, see you next week.