May The Daily (W)Rite wk3

wk o3

Thursday

You may have noticed that a lot of the picsanimations I post are rathar dark in nature. Honestly, I'm not a weird guy . . . well, yeah, I am weird but harmless. But I'm definitely not a psychotic . . . Weeeeell maybe a little . . . but still, harmless. I've loved the "dark side of art" since the days when mom and dad would leave me all alone at night in a really spooky, Norman Bates like house, so they'd go out drinking on Friday and Saturday nights. My brother and sister would be away during the summer up at our Aunt and Uncle's ranch in the Mojave Desert. Since I wasn't much of a cowboy (my brother and sister both were real goat ropers, I mean really goat ropers), I mostly opted to stay in Lynwood (where I was born),

which meant that on the weekends I had to babysit myself. I was maybe 6, 7 or 8 at the time. Anyway, we did have TV and I would stay up as late as I could at that age and watch horror movies. It was love at first sight! Well, not really. The first horror film I ever saw was Dracula (1931) and it scared me so bad! I called my mother at the bar she and dad were at and begged her to come home! They wouldn't. So, there I was watching this scary old Dracula sucking blood out of everybody, and the old house we were living at was creaking and moaning . . . there was no going to sleep. So, all I could do was wrap a blanket around me . . . all kids know that a blanket wards off ANY and ALL monsters . . . and wait to just pass out. And I would, finally. And then the next night when I was left alone . . . I was right back there in front of the tube  watching Frankenstein! I was scared, yeah. But I was hooked. Horror movies, horror literature, comic books . . . yeah, man!

In my early thirties I started going to a shrink. Head thingies, you know. Nothing too bad. More neurotic than psychotic, but still bad enough that I thought I should seek some help.  And I asked her, my shrink (actually, I called her my brain duster. Always told my friends that I was heading to the brain duster to get my head clear.)  if my liking horror films were causing my problems. She said no. She said, "Most children who are abused seek out monsters and scary films. It's a way of protecting themselves from the real monsters in the real world." Hmmm. I didn't, at the time, think of myself as abused. Totally honest I still don't. Or maybe I do, I don't know. The thing about abuse of a little kid is that he or she doesn't really know that they are being abused. They think . . . well, I should say, that I thought all the shit I went through was normal, and that I became a "normal" adult. But it wasn't and I wasn't . . . normal. It took me a long time to realize how fucked up I was as an adult. And it didn't have anything to do with movies, it was just . . . a fucked up childhood. And it may have been movies may that saved me . . . or at least, they may have saved enough of my humanness to make me realize that as an adult I was really, really fucked up. Hmmmm. May I'll continue this later. :)

Monday, May 19, 2o14

Well, did go on Saturday to see Godzilla (2014). Was so "inspired(?)" by it I decided to finally start my own move review blog. But damn, it took me all day and night Saturday to come up with a title for it. All the names I wanted were already taken. Man, there are a lot of movie review blogs written by us ordinary folks. BUT it's something I always wanted to do so . . . I DID IT! Yeah, fun to be getting down to writing something. And I am working a bit on the "Birthday Poem" but that's going slow . . . very slow. But no worries. I still got 4 days to write it. FOUR DAYS?!Okay, NOW I'm panicking. Saturday was fun and game of Thrones last night was awesome! Best episode . . . ever!
http://smalltownidiotmoviereview.blogspot.com/2014/05/godzilla-godzilla.html

Tuesday, May 2o, 2o14

Spent a lot of yesterday and today trying to write this damn "My Birthday" poem. I don't remember it being this difficult to write when I started this annual celebration (for better or worse) of my life twelve years ago. But no worries. I'll get it done.

You probably noticed the newest "gross" animation that I posted above. Yeah, I know, "Ewwwww!" To be honest I'm not sure there's enough "torture" in it. But as I said before, I'm not a psycho killer, just an artist that gets into playing with all the apps on the photo editor sites I use. Anyway, I need to get back to the poetry. Maybe I'll write some more later.