The Daily {W}rite November 2019 wk. o1

A fall, a prat fall, a slow burn, a giant crash into November. I feel like November today. Breathing is  labored. The gasp for air . . . like the gold fish taken from its home. Its mouth wide open searching for that healthy taste of bowl water. Not another appointment until Monday. I think I can last that long. But should I? That is the ?

I don't miss being in love. I really don't. I don't really even miss someone liking me enough to call me on the phone, "What are you doing?" There are those few who seem to have an interest in me . . . well, that may be too boisterous. There are those select few who are curious about me. Yes, a bit of a curiosity . . . that's me. I'm a thick foggy day with grey wet skin. You're hands reach out . . . a simple cold touch on your finger tips . . . and you pull away.

Sunday, November 3, 2o19
The world warms up a tit-tat. 66 degrees outside. All week mother nature changes her demeanor . . . from scolding cold . . . to a chilly breeze. Nice to know that we have a few more days of autumn before winter comes rolling down the street, through the boughs of the elm trees, crawling through the cracks in the floor and walls of my apartment. Pic at right from November 29th, 2o17.

Tuesday, November o5, 2o19

The Not Paying Attention to My NRS' Instruction Blues.

So, Friday night it hit me. Went with Brendon to see the new Terminator movie (it was good!), I went to the restroom after the movie started and . . . fuck. Out of breath by the time I climbed the grade to the theatre exit. FUCK! And Saturday and Sunday even worse! Got to the hospital for my regular "cancer appointment" and told the RN who's been working with me from day one what happened and she nicely jumps on me, "No, no, no, no, no! When you crash like that you gotta phone us.

PHONE US! You got the emergency number . . night or day you phone us when you are in trouble." I also asked her about wearing the surgical mask . . . "All the time when you are around people. On the street, here in the hospital, and wherever there's a group of people who could infect you with there germs! Remember, your immune system is compromised, it's flu season!"  And let me say that written this out, it looks like she was mad at me and was reading me the riot act . . . no. She's concerned for me and I felt ashamed that I wasn't doing everything to please her AND save myself. Fuck. I gotta take this seriously.

Wednesday, November o6, 2o19
I was going to go have coffee at Starbucks on the Corner, but couldn't get David up. I could've gone by myself, take my bills down to the OU Student Union  . . . but a bit worried that it would rain on me, and after last weeks health scare I decided not to chance it. So, sat on the porch and waiting for the mailman to come by, and he did. . . he went right by me as I waved my two letters in my hand! Fortunately, he stopped two houses down, and I ran

(ran pretty good too) to catch up with him before he left the block. Got there fast enough that he hadn't even gotten out of his mail truck. He opened the door and froze when he saw this masked being standing in front of him. Then he smiled and apologized for not stopping to see if there were outgoing mail.

It was actually nice out. Had my sweats on, a long sleeves shirt and my jean jacket on . . . AND . . . a surgical mask! Like I said . . . not taking anymore chances. Oh! and I brought my camera out to the porch. Got a few good autumn shots . . . a nice day.

Thursday, November o7, 2o19
Not more to write today. Still feeling good and hoping that I can make it to my next lab without crashing. Did go out today with my sister to have dinner. Put the mask on and went. No one seemed to notice . . . except one little girl (maybe 4 or 5 years old) who keep staring at me as her mother dragged by the hand to another part of the restaurant. {smiles}